(FRUITLOOP SALLY ALPHA)
This will be an ongoing project but here goes:
- How long have you been in “that thing”? (“that thing” would be my WHEELCHAIR if my blog didn’t give it away)
I have been paralyzed for 10 years. The date was September 12, 1999. It was my first fall semester at college. I say first FALL because I also took a class over the summer. Yea, I’m a dork. Whatever. - Is it….permanent? (because you know my uncle’s cousin’s daughter’s sister’s friend’s mom’s husband was paralyzed but he’s walking now)
- Yes, my injury is permanent and no I do not believe prayer will suddenly heal me and no the doctor’s can’t “fix” it. They did what they could to SAVE my life and ensure I would live a HAPPY healthy mostly normal life.
- Why are you in “that thing”? (again, yes people call it a thing, but it really is a wheelchair, I promise)
Again, I was paralyzed in a car wreck and I am now what is considered a L1,2 paraplegic. (L=Lumbar/lower back) - But you have such a good attitude……
- Well…I’d rather be HAPPY then feel sorry for myself. Only I can make me happy and I have to live with what I have. It can’t be changed so why be miserable when I can be just as happy if not HAPPIER than the next person.
- Where does the feeling stop? (in other words I am too embarrassed to ask you if you can feel it when you have sex or have to pee or poop)
The answer is that my feeling fades from the belly button down. And no I can’t feel what you really want to ask me about. - Do you drive?
Yes. My van has hand controls. My van does NOT have a cool lift. Those are crazy expensive and take up space in my van. For now I am healhy and can break my chair down and put it in the passenger seat next to me. - Why don’t you use a power chair?
Because, again, I am young and healthy and do not need one. Plus they are HUGE. My chair in TEENY TINY and fits almost anywhere. I would be way to limited with something that big. Besides, my kids like to “push” me and couldn’t if I had a power chair … maybe when I’m 50? - Did you conceive naturally?If by naturally you mean the “old fashioned” way yes. This was ACTUALLY the first questions I had for my doctors. Can I still have children. They assured me that in most cases, YES, women who are paralyzed can still conceive. I just had to wait and see if I got my period back. I did.
- Did you deliver vaginally? No. I delivered via Cesarean section. I know there are paralyzed women who have successfully delivered naturally and I desperately wanted to be one of them. HOWEVER, my doctor and I were worried that with the placement of the rods in my spine I may not be able to bare down all the way and push a baby out. I could labor for HOURS and not be able to do it and in the end need a C-section. So we decided I would go in rested and prepared. I have NO regrets.
- How do you bathe? Dress? – I have a shower bench I sit on and shower just like anyone else. If I want a bath I get the full princess treatment and DH lowers me in and raises me back out of the tub. Dressing. Either on the bed or in my chair with LOTS of wiggling and moving side to side to get pants on. If you are ever out with me and I take FOREVER in the bathroom. THAT IS WHY. Getting my pants up takes about 1-4 minutes depending on fabric and fit.
- How do you do chores? oooh you mean like housework? Yeah. I just do it. You’d have to come and watch. I USUALLY try and make Charlie do the floors. . . I think we are going to hire a maid to come once a week.
- Do you ever feel sorry for yourself? I think IT FREAKING SUCKS. I don’t feel sorry for myself any more than you do….and you do from time to time, am I correct?
- If I see you somewhere should I help you or not? I dunno, ask me. I promise I won’t roll you over. If I say NO, believe me. OOOH and NEVER EVER jerk a door out of my hands. Ask me if I want help. DO NOT EVER jerk a door out of my hand. I do not know how many times I have almost fallen out of my chair because someone jerked a door out of my hands….and do not RUN ahead of me to move things, unless you have asked and I say yes please or I ask. Â It slows me down. I am EXPERT and gauging if I will fit somewhere so don’t block me. Please.
- what other medical complications do you have because of the paralysis? I have rods on either side of my spine. They often cause pain. I can easily get a pressure sore (bed sore). I most likely can’t have another baby…I don’t know for sure but I really think it has to do with things just weakening because of the paralysis. My bladder often just up and decides to have a mind of it’s own. I can’t feel it ya know.
- How did you meet “the man”? We met online. I lived in Shiner. He loves Shiner beer. You do the math.
- Did you finish college? Not yet. I went back in 2001. Developed a horrible pressure sore that put me in the hospital off and then on again for 4 months. Started planning a wedding, enjoying newly wed life and then getting pregnant. I am doing my dream job though. . . I plan to go back at some point. IÂ either want to teach or be a medical student…I mean doctor.
- Since you never lost conscienceness do you remember the pain when it happened? Yes.
- Do you excercise? I wheel my weight around all day, every day and load my chair in and out of the van multiple times a day (although will has been helping me with that) and I lift my body to the bed, couch and toilet many times a day as well. I also have a toddler. .. but no. No REAL exercise. I have asthma. LOL
- Do you still go to therapy? nope.
- You say you can’t FEEL. Does that mean you can’t have sex? I can have sex and do . . . I have 2 kids, remember.
I love, love, love these FAQ’s (and your wry sense of humor)! You ROCK!
Congrats on your SITS day
Elena´s last [type] ..Green Goes Simple- Conservation at Home
@Elena Aww, you are sweet. Thank you very much for visiting on my SITS day.
Wow…..you are so inspiring!!! I feel so blessed to have met you & look forward to a great friendship:)
@DaNay Boren, Thank you, sweetie! Playdate soon!!!!
You amaze me! You go girl!!!
@CK, You are very sweet!! Thank you very much for visiting on my SITS day.
I like that you answer questions so honestly. However, you kind of missed the one I was wondering about the most. How do you manage tiny children from a wheelchair? I can’t even imagine how you would carry a baby safely and still be able to move a manual chair, or how you can manage to diaper a squirming toddler from a sitting position? Must be hard.
How long is it before they figure out how to run away from you and wedge themselves in somewhere they know you can’t reach them? I can see a naughty two year old doing that pretty easily. Hopefully this time, it will be easier with your two older children to help you.
Kids are fun, but they are hard work, even when you have full mobility!
Twitter: JustDeena
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@Adrian, One of the things that has always amazed me about Priscilla is her ability to mother full time from a wheelchair. Kids really only do what they are allowed to get away with from birth, when they are raised by a mother in a chair, they really know no different. Will is the same age as my daughter, one of the things that originally bonded us together as friends, I remember reading a blog she had done back then about how she gets him in and out of the car when he was an infant. The ability to adapt our lives when we really need to is one of the many things that makes us human.
@Adrian, The first email was direct, this one is a blog reply
You manage when you want something bad enough. I am sure there are posts on here that answer how I did those things the first two times.
I’ve been blessed so far and my kids on ran off once or twice when they first started testing those boundries and I did what other moms did and chased them down, probably faster then one can run. THey have never gone anywhere I couldn’t get them.
Kids are a blast and they are only hard work when you make them hard work. I make that mistake quite often, but we all parent and learn.
Thanks for visiting.
I don’t have kids (yet) but many nephews and now great nieces whom I was around when they were all infants and did a lot of baby sitting (from my chair).. I have big shoulders and could balance the babies perfectly when they were tiny and when they got a bit bigger but weren’t walking yet, I loved overalls because they were easy to pick up.. like a purse and when I had the babies on the floor, I’d put them on a blanket and then scoop them up in it.. some people who didn’t know me would freak.. but never have I dropped a baby and probably picked them up safer than some parents do by yanking on their little arms! Its so true about how you raise kids.. one of my nephews who I helped raise when he was little, never once tried to run away from me when he was young and believe it or not, I never even had issues with temper tantrums.. but I’m pretty sure that’s only because I was the auntie and not the mommy! lol
Twitter: MrsMommyMatters
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First I want to to offer you a round of applause for your HONESTY
It’s so refreshing to see people being open and honest about things, and your answers, quite frankly, cracked me up! I love your outlook on life. I think it’s awesome that you keep a great outlook when so many people seem to “expect” you to be different. Love your blog!
Courtney K.´s last [type] ..To Tell the Truth…or not
@Courtney K., Thank you. You are right. People do expect me to be different and are usually pleasantly surprised when they realize I am just like them. Thank you very much for visiting on my SITS day.
I can’t believe the audacity people have to ask such personal questions. My mother taught me never to ask people questions like some of the ones you get. That would be reserved for a very close friend and then you’d wait until they wanted to tell you. But then I’m in my 50′s and things weren’t as open as they are these days with everyone sharing everything on the internet. It’s great that you can handle it all with such candidness and humor.
@Sharon, The worst was when a fellow martial arts mom I just met was asking me questions far more personal then the ones here (imagine that!). My mom is in her 70s so imagine how less open people where in her day?! HAH. She’s appalled if anyone looks at me for longer than a few seconds, I can’t imagine what she’d think if she knew 1/2 the stuff they asked.
Thank you very much for visiting on my SITS day.
@Priscilla,
This was me wasn’t it….;)P
@Shannon, I don’t know who “me” is. and if this is Ms. black. NO. It wasn’t you
@Shannon,
Maybe…;)
Twitter: PeriwinklePapi
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thank you for being a real teacher with candor and a really wicked sense of humor. I look forward to following all of your future posts.
@Sara Mooradian, Thank you!!
Twitter: spitupchronicle
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I found your blog while perusing through the SITS blog directory and Im so glad I did!! I love your honesty and the way you just power through. Congratulations on your new baby!
@Jessica, Thank you.
I think its amazing that you do all that you do. I was wondering though do you have someone that helps you with the kids? I mean in case they run out in the middle of the street? fall down the stairs?
@Elizabeth, no. We don’t have stairs and i bet i can roll into the street faster then you could run.
I have really enjoyed reading your story and your FAQ’s! Of course, we all have days we feel sorry for ourselves and things we wish we could go back and change…but your positive attitude is so refreshing!!
I appreciate your honesty!! It helps people like me who never know what I should or shouldn’t do for someone in a wheelchair. I don’t want to be the ‘asshole’ that does the wrong thing. LOL But I never know if I’m the ass for opening the door or not…so I know I appreciate it when someone first hand can just say it!
Oh…but I do know that it is BEYOND inappropriate to ask you if you can feel sex! OMG!!! It’s amazing how rude people can be!
My daughter had a huge, bright red birthmark on her face when she was a baby (until about 2 years old when it started to fade)…I learned then, first hand, how ignorant people are and how strangers somehow find themselves with no boundaries as to what they will say!
I heard things like “Wow, what an beautiful baby if she didn’t have that awful spot on her face.” Really? You felt that comment was ok to say to a new mom?
“Is that lipstick?” Yes, because doesn’t everyone put bright red lipstick all over their daughters eye before they go out in public. Again, really? DId you think about that before you said it, or did it just jump out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop it? LOL
Anywho… thank you for stopping by my blog! Stay positive, it’s such a beautiful attribute!!! I wish you continued happiness!!!
Erin´s last [type] ..Laundry-Craft Rooms
@Erin, Thank you so much for stopping by. People can really amaze you…good and bad.
Twitter: RulesDreamGirl
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Hi,
You have a beautiul family! It’s so nice to meet such a candid fellow SCI Mom. I was injured in ’93 (C5/6 Quadriplegic) and much to the surprise of some, surprisingly positive lol. Paralysis does not = dead.
Nice meeting you and good luck with the new addition
@Gina, Nice to meet you!!
Twitter: aklaborde
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I love these! My husband was paralyzed in a car accident 10 years and he (well could say we since they ask me when they are too scared to ask him lol) gets these questions all of the time… it’s great to hear everything from a woman’s point of view though. Congrats on the new baby boy!
@Amanda, Thank you. Yea, people crack me up sometimes. It’s rare that they don’t ask ME though
Twitter: cammyjag
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I have met so many wheelchair users and people with various disabilities (from being a Therapeutic Rec student) and one thing I always love/admire about so many of them is the raw sense of humour. I love sarcasm! It’s weird that people think the humour so different, but we all make fun of the things in our lives. I’m now a teacher, and I think if people who aren’t teachers heard me sometimes they’d think I’ve either lost it or hate children. But what else can you do but laugh sometimes! It’s what keeps you sane.
But in all seriousness, I think it’s so important that everyone learn wheelchair etiquette, as well as etiquette towards disabilities in general, because some things people do to be ‘helpful’ is not only demeaning but dangerous! Even though some things we think are common sense, humans don’t have quite a good track record for using that now, do they?
Ummm…ROCK ON! Especially the part about people getting in the way to help. No, I don’t think they’re doing it on purpose to be a total NUISANCE, but that’s how they come off most of the time.
I love your honesty on your FAQ. It took me so many years (and sometimes it still takes a LOT out of me to muster up the courage to be that honest. But it pays off!
Feel free to stop by my blog, Holdin’ Out for a Hero, and offer your thoughts. I hope to connect with you!
Laura Tellado´s last [type] ..SBACFL Walk-N-Roll Opportunity for Bloggers!
I think #20 is my favorite…”I have asthma. lol.”
I’m still giggling!!!
Allyson´s last [type] ..Tried and Failed
I just found your blog and have enjoyed reading it. My husband has T5-6 paraplegia (also thrown from a vehicle) and gets some of the same questions and such. Someone congratulated him for getting out of his truck by himself the other day… He has the same sort of attitude that you do:) It’s amazing how I also get stupid personal questions as well. “I just don’t see how you do it”, blah, blah, blah. What else are either of us supposed to do???
Anyway, looking forward to reading more of your blog!
They congratulated him? Seriously? I’d congratulate them on earning the award for most insulting comment of the decade! ha!
Welcome to my blog 
Twitter: shastahun
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i just found your blog via The Sweet Shoppe and since I’ve only really been active as of this year I thought I would come over to your blog and learn a little bit about you. I love your attitude about everything. The exercise answer cracked me up. I have asthma too and pull that line all the time as an excuse for not wanting to exercise. You have a beautiful family.
Shasta´s last [type] ..Two Week Wait