paraplegic wife and mommy
I thought I’d go ahead and share this video I made for my scrap friends. It’s good timing considering there may be a few NEW READERS this week. (more on that in a sec.)
The video is mostly focused on us and not scrap so everyone should get a kick out of it.
I just wanted to give everyone reading a head’s up to be on the lookout for not one but TWO guest spots this week. I will be posting elsewhere on Thursday and Friday this week. I will be providing a link to WHERE on that day.
This song was played at my grandma’s funeral. .. in the early 90s.
I still can’t listen to it without bawling.
I’m not sure what made me think about it, since I avoid it like the plague (really! If I am anywhere and it starts playing I stick my fingers in my ears and act like I’m 3).
Do you have a song that just really speaks to you? In a good or bad way?
Here is a LO with Grandma and Grandpa CJ (he died earlier, probably 88?)
Kit: Eva Kipler’s All The little things
http://www.sweetshoppedesigns.com/sw…amp;amp;page=1
template : sara gleason freebie and DJB Jenna font
If you are not familiar with the song, here are the lyrics.
If Tomorrow Never Comes By Garth Brooks
Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She’s lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heartIf tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feelIf tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comesSo tell that someone that you love
Just what you’re thinking of
If tomorrow never comes
I have plans to start an ongoing series but I need YOUR help to get started.
I frequently have people ask me how I do “this” or how I do “that”. I want to answer those questions by SHOWING you how I do them.
This will be a vlog series so it should be fun.
Why not help me get started and ask me something you are dying to know? It needs to be a mommy/household chore and something I can SHOW you in less than 2-3 minutes.
Now, obviously some of these may have to wait until Nathan (there I said it..you know his name!) is born but some of them I can do NOW.
If you can think of any how do you do it while pregnant questions PLEASE get them to me ASAP. We don;t have but about 12 weeks left.
The woman that caused my accident? She was one of my best friends at the time.
I’ve only “spoken” to her through letters when I was pregnant with William. I can’t even remember if I told her I was expecting.
She was also married to my brother, at the time.
Where is she now? I’m not really sure. I’ve heard a little bit here, and a little bit there. When her oldest son, my nephew, got married, I saw her in the background of one of the pictures.
That’s where it’s stopped. I’ve heard rumors that she’s made snarky comments about having “served her time”. It was lead to imply no one should be angry or upset and all should be forgiven. I have not heard this first hand, so I have no idea how many times it may or may not have been twisted “telephone” style before it got to me.
Do I blame her? YES.
Do I forgive her? I suppose that I do. That’s a question I struggle with answering. Saying NO implies I want to go back and change everything and that is far from the truth. Saying yes implies I should “forget” about it. I know people are often “forgiven but not forgotten” so maybe that’s where we can leave it?!
Do I want to be her best friend again. Not hardly.
Do I want to know her again? Yes, I think so??
Will I take the action to reconnect? No.
It’s really a bizarre situation. She took my life and turned it upside down. I didn’t let it stay that way. I wouldn’t change any of it because I adore the life I have today.
My mom and brother? That’s a completely different story. They don’t get it. Not entirely. My brother looks at me like a pitiful invalid. It’s really funny. The stares, shaking of his head. It’s actually insulting. My mom is still just devastated that my life was changed so drastically. I know that she sees how happy I am but I don’t think she gets it the way I do. She always talks about how things have to be so much more difficult for me but yet I do it anyways.
The funny thing? Things aren’t difficult for me.
I’ve really gotten off track with this one, so I will go ahead and close for now. If there is ever a reconnection, I will let you know.
In June it will be 6 years since my dad died. This year is going to be a little more unnerving. There is a remote possibility the baby could be born on the “anniversary”.
My perinatal doc would like to take the baby at 38 weeks (June 28) and as early as the 14th is we go through with an amnio in the event I start to have problems (as of right now that is NOT the plan).
June 22 falls right in the middle of that time frame. I do NOT want him to be born on that day. NOt at all.
I’m here and just coming back from off/on fevers ranging from 101-105 (I think there were 3?4? Each lasting 4-6 hrs), an ER visit and return doctor visit. I’m on antibiotics and finally went 24 hrs. without a fever. Not sure what is wrong but baby is ok and I think I may be on the mend. I’ve had lots of help with the boys.
I forgot to share this. I got married with the bottom band. The middle is my engagement ring and a few years ago I decided I wanted another band to match. You would be SHOCKED how hard it was to find a match. The compant we bought the original from went out of business. We went to several jewelry stores that said they didn’t have it but could make it for $700. OUCH. A few came kinda close. We were about to give up and have one made when I decided to go to one LAST store. Kay’s. I’m not sure why we hadn’t gone there before. They had one that was ALMOST exact. It’s barely noticeable. The price? $200!!! We were super excited and it was MY SIZE so we got it on the spot 
. It adds a little more awesome bling. What girl doesn’t like bling?!
(iphone picture. Sorry. Get used to it 
It’s easy.)
Wow. It’s been almost 2 weeks since my SITS day and I’m still not through all the commenters. Well, I replied to all of them (Please tell me you did get it in your email!??!!) but I haven’t visited everyone yet. I’ve kind of been lazy with it and haven’t visited as many every day as I should so PLEASE bare with me. I will get to your blog and I will visit you back. Just be patient. I want to actually read a post or two and not just stop in and say hi.
I would love to follow everyone but with over 200 (or maybe it was only just over 100, I can’t remember if I have it set to count MY replies as well…) comments there is NO WAY I could follow that many blogs. Ever. I’d never blog for me. Or go to another swim lesson and my kids would eat a lot of PB&J. I will be following repeat commenters and visitors that I connect with though so make sure you let me know you are here by leaving repeat comments or contacting me (also following me on twitter and saying hi there!)
THANK YOU again for a great SITS day .
This is what the right hand side of my sink looks like on any given day. (and we will consider this a “keeping it real” photo when I do my home tour)
Yes, I have dishwasher. No, I don’t use it all the time. It’s one of “my things”. I HATE to unload it, so that’s Charlie’s job. If he doesn’t unload it I hand wash.
Really.
That’s not the point of this post though. How many cups do you see there?
Yes. 6 plus.
How many kids do you see here? (hint: Will is clearly giving you the answer, so you shouldn’t get this one wrong.)
Do the math? It doesn’t add up. At all. There should only be 2 cups. Right? Tell me I’m right.
I just finished crying because of this post.
I was rambling in her comments and decided I should write my own post before tomorrow just in case this baby is a boy and not a girl and I don’t have the chance to do what I want to do.
In 1986 my 18 year old sister, Lisa, died of an aneurysm. It was sudden. We are pretty sure she did not suffer. I was 5. I remember so clearly every detail of the funeral home. I don’t really want to get into that though.
When I was pregnant with Lucas, I was headed to the mall with William and a Kenny Chesney song came on. I was listening to the words and bawling. Instantly. The lyrics made me think of Lisa. Would she have had kids? boys? girls? Would she be married to the same man? Would we be best friends?
Here is the song.
Kenny Chesney’s “Who you’d be today”
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can’t believe you’re goneChorus:
It ain’t fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I’ve been through
Just knowing no one could take your *place*(instead of ‘love away’)
Sometimes I wonder who you’d be todayWould you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky’s so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazyChorus
Today, Today, Today
Today, Today, TodaySunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I’ll see you again somedaySomeday, Someday
I will never know. Her name was Lisa Ann. I did not yet know if Lucas was a boy or a girl. I decided RIGHT THEN that if we had a girl her name would have some form of Lisa Ann. So that is why if this baby is a girl she will be named Chloe AnnaLisa. I could NOT look at my baby every day and call her Lisa. It would hurt to much. I can’t imagine what it would do to my mom. My mom does know my plans and she thinks it’s beautiful.
There she is on her wedding day; one month before her death.
The other women are my sisters (except for Karen, not sure where she was) and our mom.
Here is another one with of all my mom’s daughters (she had 5 girls and 4 boys for a total of 9, just in case you didn’t know that)
I am a 30-something paralyzed, stay-at-home Mommy to 3 boys, & an amazing husband. The wheels have been making my butt look big since 1999. This blog is about our life and I hope to encourage others along the way. If you would like to know more please check out my FAQs & My Story. I just started a new project, where I refer to myself as The Stylish Gimp.. Check it out. 
