It’s been one year since my mother-in-law died unexpectedly. It’s been a year full of ups and downs and lots of sad “firsts” for my husband and the rest of us. I won’t go into all the details, but I just wanted to share something with the rest of you that I wrote after she died. PLEASE take it to heart. I know it may not be easy. Just try. For me. Okay?! If you know me from OLU, I just copied and pasted.

No matter how much you think you dislike your MIL, PLEASE …. try and fix it …
because now that mine is gone I wish I could and I can’t.

It’s too late.

I haven’t posted here yet, but my MIL died VERY unexpectedly on September 15th (also DH’s bday).

It’s no secret that we were far from best friends. I wanted to have a better relationship with her but for my own faults and some hers, we just never did.

We were always working on it. It just wasn’t good enough.

So this is my plea. If there is ANY chance whatsoever that you and your MIL (or FIL) can have a friendship, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE .. do it NOW.

Don’t think time will make you closer. I ran out of time and despite us not getting along all that well I am BEYOND devastated that I will NEVER get the chance to be a good friend.

That is all.

Now I’m sharing this with you because I don’t know if I ever shared it with my husband. I didn’t want to burden him with my grief (and to be honest still don’t). ANYWAYS.

Okay. I’m going to try and make this brief, it at all possible.

We got to our local chick-fil-a at LEAST once a week. It’s close and the boys like to play.

They are awesome there. They know me by my wheels. hahah.

Anyways, they have a door to the playscape that is perfect. It’s a little heavy for a 2 year old to open but he can sometimes but closes VERY slowly and is designed so it doesnt completely fit together and when it does there are these HUGE thick rubber things between the door  and the jam. I can clamp my hands together and stick it through and it doesn’t hurt.  It’s every parents DREAM. No matter what, your kid cant pinch his fingers and can all but put two arms all the way through.

Does that make sense!? I know doors are dangerous but this is one time I can let him have a LITTLE bit of independence. It’s so important not to always be one step behind your child so they can explore a little.

I was there with friends and we had finished eating. We could see the door and the playscape. Lucas was repeatedly coming in and out. They have a low handle on the door so kids can open for themselves, too. Lucas manages it about 1/2 the time and either gets me to open it for him or the person sitting immediatly next to the door opens it for him when they see he wants back in. (watching their kid because they don’t want in there with the noise).  No one has ever complained and even if I am sitting RIGHT next to them they always open it for him before I have time to roll over and do it myself.

Well, yesterday was just like any other day. I was 3 tables over, Lucas was coming and going. I went to check on him and when I rolled by a table I heard a little boy asking about my chair. I smiled and was going to go back and talk to him when I finished with Lucas. WHen I went back by they were fussing at him for something. Not really sure what. I decided not to approach him at that time.

I say got back into my spot and Lucas came back and wanted to eat some more and then went back.

Then, out of no where, the woman that was fussying at the boy approached me and started going off on me telling me I had a responsibility as a parent to protect my children and that my son was in danger. That door was going to pinch his fingers/hands and people she said people were getting uncomfortable and concerned with my lack of interest. (not true … no one else was even looking)

I smiled and said that I understood her concern and I was ususally worried about doors too but that this one was child safe, the door didnt reach the jam and there were huge rubber folds to add extra protection.

She told me she didt care and didn’t want to hear it. I told her if that was the case she needed to mind her own business because I was a regular and knew my son was safe from harm.

She then said the state has a responsibility to protect children and she can call the hotline anytime she wanted.

I actually laughed, I mean reall?! So I told her if you would like to call CPS, PLEASE by all means do. When they show up they will actually LOOK at the door and realize my son is not in danger.

She turned around and said well kids cut their hands off on doors ALL THE TIME.

She said back down.

Another minute passed and I went to throw something away. When I turned around she was standing there with her hands on her hips STARING at me.

She started to say something else but I told her she really needed to back off and mind her own business. Her daughter started to get antsy and told her to sit down several times.

At this point I am really upset. If this woman so much as touches my kid I will start fuming.

I go to get the kids their ice cream and decide I need to tell a manager about what happened because I can not interact wth her again.

As I tell him what happened I start crying.

He goes over and explains that I am a regular customer, I abide by the rules and that my son is afe because of the door…….

she doesn’t want to her it – she won’t even listen to HIM tell her the door is NOT going to pinch his fingers.

I get back to the table and she starts LAUGHING! really. Laughing.

When she leaves he says something else to her and she tells him she was head of CPS for 25 years and it’s her responsibiilty to make sure children are safe… he tries assuring her again but no luck – they shakes hands and she leave.  (he told me what she said after she left)

He told me that he hopes there was no animosity between them (him and other lady) but that if there was he didn’t care because he would rather have ME as a customer then her.

Crazy.