It’s been 5 years.

I wanted to wait until this evening to write this post because I didn’t know what I wanted to say. I still don’t.

It’s been 5 years TODAY since I got the call around 8 am that my dad had died earlier that morning. I saw their number on caller ID and my heart immediatly sank. Charlie had just left for work.

We had been expecting it but I was instantly devastated before I said hello. I was expecting a photographer to be on the way and thought maybe he was looking for directions because he was lost and got instead I got some of the worst news ever.

Wil was only 5 months old. He’ll only know him in pictures (I made a 20 minute video collage that I thought I was going to watch today but didn’t … Lucas has yet to see it because I hate (but LOVE) to watch it.)  Lucas, of course, never met him.

It’s brutal to lose a parent; whether you expect it or not.

Daddy in the 1950s

Daddy and I in May 1999 (just 4 months before I was paralyzed)


  1. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, even though it was years ago. I know how you feel. What saddens us greatly (among other things) about the death of my father-in-law two months ago is that he won't see his grandchildren grow up. And they won't see him. But we have pictures. And they remember now. We just have to keep those memories strong.

  2. I can't imagine your grief, P. My thoughts are with you….big hugs.

  3. Maybe it's a sixth-sense thing when you lose a loved one. The one year anniversary of my dad's passing recently went by. I was 38 weeks pregnant with Son #2 when it happened. A motorcycle wreck.

    He was out riding with his friend that day, a short road trip. We all knew he was going. I'd gone out that afternoon and left my phone at home. When I came home, I got a call from a gentleman at church, to tell me my family was trying to get ahold of me. Even before I answered his call, I knew something was wrong. Unfortunately, I had no idea it was as bad as it was until they told me.

    He was only 48. Son #1 was about 3 1/2 years old, so he got to meet one of his grandkids, even if it wasn't really all that well. I'm afraid even Son #1 doesn't even remember him much anymore. I have lots of pictures though, so we show those to the boys all the time.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. *hugs*
    Mojo Mama´s last blog post ..Wordless Wednesday

  4. I am sure you miss him every day. and will enjoy the video when you watch it.
    He was very handsome :)

  5. I’m sorry for your loss. Losing a parent can be the most painful thing that can happen to one’s life that is why we need to cherish each and everyday that we still have our parents living with us.
    Vicente@ambrewco´s last blog post ..Palm Springs bed and breakfast

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